How’s this for a shocker….I have my life together! Finally and thank G-O-D. I start my new job at Backus on Monday, which I still think I’m not qualified for, but hell…they saw my potential so who am I to doubt that? I get to wear my jammies to work (scrubs) and that’s nothing to complain about. It’s only 10 minutes from my house (current house, I’m moving in the Spring) so still nothing to gripe about.
I feel more healthy than I can recall in the last couple of years but that’s not to say it wasn’t traumatic climbing that hill. There’s been more doctors, therapists, hospitals, brain stimulants, medications, damaged relationships, missed holidays, tears, sleepless nights, etc then I care to ever re-visit – but it’s all downhill from here. I’m a thriving 38 year old single female!
Now is the time to re-focus on my life, my priorities and my future. Currently, I’m happy being single and I think a relationship would all but throw my focusing out the window going 100 mph down Interstate 95 – SO – I’m keeping it cool and casual. I have relationships to repair which can only happen by showing effort and realizing people just were afraid of my sickness. I’m okay with that. It’s time to re-build the bridges I burnt with my family. They are who I am and I’ve realized that they never deserted me, I ran from each of them in my own way. I will fix this pronto.
I’ve been dieting for several months but recently changed my method. My friend Wendy’s husband, Kevin, has been kicking my butt in a nurturing way and I have nothing but faith in his method. He can torture me all he wants and I will NOT cheat. Well, except the weighing myself every day. I’m bad about that and he doesn’t like it too much (sorry, Kev!) Results are amazing as I’ve lost a total of 56 pounds and 45 inches. Ain’t NOBODY gonna complain about those numbers! I’m wearing jeans I haven’t fit into since before last summer. And the best part is that tomorrow is CARB DAY!!!!!!
I have been fighting the fight of my life, literally, for over a year. I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to no longer have the heaviness of life on my shoulders. Hell, I don’t expect things to come easily to me…EVER…but I have the strength, the will and a heck of a lot of fight still left in me.
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My powers turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep
And it’s been two years
I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
I still believe
No I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me