We go out with someone, we get excited about them, and then they do something that mildly disappoints us. Then they keep doing a lot more things that disappoint us. Then we go into hyper-excuse mode for weeks or possibly MONTHS, because the last thing we want to think is that this great man that we are so excited about is in the process of turning into a creep. We try to come up with some explanation for why they’re behaving that way…ANY explanation, no matter how ridiculous, than the one explanation that’s the truth: He’s just not that into me.
I know it’s an infuriating concept–that men like to chase and you have to let them chase you. I know. It’s insulting. It’s frustrating. It’s unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out – nine times out of ten, “he’s just not that into you.”
The word ‘busy’ is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: men are never too busy to get what they want.
A guy that doesn’t recognize being IN A RELATIONSHIP with you will always be able to play the ‘friend’ card with you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the far greater expectations of a boyfriend. He’s got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to.
I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to BE involved. I want to be sleeping with someone I know I’ll see again because they’ve already demonstrated to me that they’re trustworthy and honorable.
It’s about finding the guy who wants you, calls you, makes you feel sexy and desired fully. He wants to see you more and more often, because every time he sees you, he likes and then loves you more and more.