I watch him carefully every night at the bar. I try to notice all the little things that most people would look over. For example, the way in which he gently closes his eyes while he sings a song lyric. I wonder if he feels something in the words? Then there is the fascinating way he plays the strings on his guitar as if every sound is its own sort of special. His song selection shows me who he is on the inside but our short conversations tell me more. Even then I am enchanted by this music man. He is a man that cares for people which perhaps explains why he has chosen to entertain as a profession.
I adore his attire of blue jeans, black t-shirt and sneakers this evening. I especially enjoy the way his hair naturally goes its own way. Relaxed just as he always shows.There seems to be no mystery to this man but yet I study him as if I’ve never known anyone like him before. I am drawn to this man and I am consumed to know why the pull is so intense. I watch his hands at every moment and wonder what they would feel like pulling me toward him. I want desperately to tell him to kiss me until I forget how terrified I am of everything wrong in my world. Of course knowing that to him the kiss would mean nothing as he loves another – but something inside me doesn’t care. Maybe this music man could fix me? I’ve studied his mouth as he sings and also as he speaks and to me he would seem like peace.
As I watch him on the next evening he has a certain spark about him and he never seems to notice my starring, or maybe he does and simply doesn’t mind. He has a simple look to him this evening wearing blue jeans, polo shirt and sneakers. I can’t help but to notice his left collar is bent and I struggle to stop myself from fixing it while we speak. He takes a request for a country song and plays it very well but my attention is drawn to his right hand strumming chords so quickly and effortlessly. He seems to be in amazing spirits and I smile because of it. There is something just a little different in his smile that shows genuine happiness. He begins to gently play his instrument and once he begins to sing I hear it is a beautiful song which he treats so sweetly. He sings of lovers and for some reason it stings just a little. Why him? Why this guy?
Now I’m focusing on his left leg as it plays with the pedals on the floor and then moves to the beat of the song. He doesn’t notice my stare but I see him scanning the now busy room. Music man, where have you been? My world could have been so much different if you were mine and as perfect as I imagine you to be. Next song is a typical island song which everyone loves and I smile once again while admiring him from down the bar. His energy seems magnified at the enthusiasm of the crowd. I sit and wonder if maybe I will become his afterthought someday and I smile to myself at the mere possibility.
He tells the crowd he is taking a break and sat down beside me for some quick conversation. Conversation in which I am always so thirsty for. We speak generally, as always, and we discuss briefly the CD he gave me earlier. All original pieces and one that was written by a spark of a Star Wars movie. He is a simple man, from a simple place, with simple desires. When he looks me in the eye there is something in me that stirs. When he sings to a full room of people, I swear I am the only one who hears beyond his words.
He begins to play once more and to my surprise, he plays a song that I requested previously, Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. I gave him my full attention as my heart raced. Why wouldn’t it? I’m looking at him wondering if he knows how close to perfection I imagine him to be and how much I desire to show it all to him.
CHEERS, music man…you have left your mark on me.
Light & Love,