Hi All –
I’m a bit behind on my blogging so I’m going to backtrack and tell you about yesterday.
Thomas and I met a friend of his for dinner in Loveland, CO which is about an hour north of downtown Denver. It was well worth the travel as she was as funny and sweet as Thomas himself. Conversation never lacked a laugh or something that made me glad to have been right where I was.
The drive up and the drive back was what truly stood out to me. Being on this particular journey I’m on, I find myself asking people the hard questions of life and love. However, I need to be prepared for the tough answers. This is where Thomas becomes a great asset to me as he will tell me what I mostly already know but in a way that will empower me to believe it. Truly believe it. I can’t tell you how much I value that in our friendship.
So last night I came back to the hotel, walked in the door and sat right there in the dark and cried about what I needed to release in my life in order to regain my own self worth. Eventually I got up, dusted myself off and remembered…I can do hard things. I’m worth fighting for.
I sat down and wrote a long overdue email and released the one thing that has had so much power over me. It took me quite a while to hit the send button but I truly believe that a love which is true and real will find its way back in its own time. Perhaps my love will have withered by then but that’s the chance I have to take. This is my journey to travel and I can’t continue on it always wondering what MIGHT happen in the future. That’s like chasing a ghost.
I don’t expect a reply to this email. And let’s face it, silence IS an answer. But I’m not only okay with that, I’m totally used to it. The ball is officially out of my court and I’m going to continue to spread my wings and find what I’m seeking…myself.
No more chasing ghosts for me.
Light & Love,