Can I be brutally honest here?
I’ve been starring at this blank page for almost 45 minutes thinking that I didn’t want/need/have to say a single thing. I’m angry. Im angry and I don’t want to talk about it but that wasn’t the deal. The deal is that I blog every night no matter what. So here it is.
I left Michigan went through Ohio, Indiana, Illinois and stopped here in Iowa for the night. Got a speeding ticket in Ohio going 89 mph down route 80. Evidently if she clocked me at 90 mph it would have been a mandatory court appearance and a suspended license. WHY was I going so fast? BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY.
Why is it that the one thing you try so hard to keep your mind from wandering to is always the one thing you can’t get away from? Why won’t it just let me be? Go away? Go be happy with…?
Maybe I’m not angry. Maybe I’m still sad. When does the sadness stop?
I just don’t have any more thoughts. They are all just fleeting memories of what life could’ve been like. How much things would be different if it all….went differently. It was a game that I lost. Acceptance is crucial.
Time to rest to gear up for a very long 10 hour drive into Colorado tomorrow.
Light & Love,