As I am just finishing up on getting everything in order I realize I’m a bit late for the party! However things are progressing at a fast pace and I will be leaving around 3:00 am Tuesday morning for sure. I picked up my rental car yesterday and am packing for a four week adventure. Packing is proving to be tricky as some climates are showing at 80 degrees while it’s snowing in Denver. I’ve got to be prepared. The beauty of it all is that I’m only used to packing if I’m flying and have to keep it under 50 pounds…now I can get as crazy as I want! Oh, and it’s interesting as I have my entire suitcase packed for my cruise that I leave on a day after I get back from my road trip so I ended up buying new things just so I didn’t have to “borrow” from one suitcase to the next. Ahh…the life of a traveler.
Friday afternoon I asked my Dad if he could go over some tricks on getting through New York on the map with me. He looked at me with a smug smile and said, “Are you REALLY going to do this?” I had to laugh because I’ve been talking about it for weeks. I suppose he’s just not used to me doing scary things. I’ve always been the one stay in the safe zone. Not get too close to the edge. Relying too much on others. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s time. I have things to prove to myself and I can’t accomplish these things by staying safe.
I’ve been through a lot and I’ve learned a lot in regards to what I can handle and what I can’t. Quite frankly, it’s about time I reach higher. I’ve been in the darkest of places fighting off demons I wouldn’t wish on anyone and I came out of that place stronger but not strong enough. There was a time when things simply didn’t phase me much. However now, it seems that I feel everything way too much and that’s simply not acceptable anymore. There are things that are hurting me and I need to make sure that I become so strong and I can build my walls so high that they won’t be able to touch me any longer. I will always fight for myself but I am done fighting for others. I’m worth being fought for.
At the end of the day, what I know for sure is simple. This trip is going to be scary but I know now that I can do hard things. I’m ready.
Light & Love,